Part Two – Reflect to Connect with Love

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The Root of Love
Last week, we discussed the meaning of love and how it is part of how we see and express ourselves and our connection with others. But where does love come from? This is a mystery that philosophers and poets have pondered for a very long time, and each individual's experience of love will be different. It is safe to say though, that love is the root of every positive emotion, every act of creation, and every good deed.

Love starts with each of us learning to loveourselves, just the way we are. The love we give ourselves is the core of the love that we can share with others.  The more we love ourselves, by being kind to ourselves and not judging, demeaning or disrespecting our own hearts, the more of a reservoir of love we have to share with others. This is something especially important to show children, so that from a young age they can accept, love and feel confident in who they are.

Many think that loving yourself is selfish, but in fact it is the opposite.  As Anita Moorjani, author of Dying to be Me, says, "selfishness comes from too little self-love, not too much, as we compensate for our lack.  I had always thought it was selfish to love myself and meet my needs before others, but I learned that if I do not love myself, I will not have enough love to give to others because I cannot give others what I myself do not have." 

Love Vs. Fear
Love is sometimes joined by fear, because when you love something you may fear losing it, or fear that it is not what you had hoped. But the fear comes from our preconception of how that aspect of our lives should play out, how long it will last, or how it should behave. But love is independent of fear, since the fear originates from an idea that may or may not be true. True love is accepting of the reality of that aspect of our lives, even if that includes a time limit or a flaw.

Reflect to Connect
Talk to your children and let them know that experiencing fear is normal and ultimately an illusion that can never take love away. Share similar fears you had as a child and how you worked through them to help your child discover the best way they can let go of their fear. It always helps kids to know they are not alone dealing with fear, and that comfort will aid them in accepting what they are feeling.  Not only will that acceptance, understanding and your support help them overcome their fear when they are ready, but it will also remind them of their true power.

A Tip from Joy:  Sometimes visualizations can help as well. Ask what color your child or student associates with love so when they feel fearful they can close their eyes and picture that color glowing inside them, growing with each breathe and shining away the fear. They can even call that color their "Super Power Color" and picture themselves as a superhero wearing that color as they save the day!

We would love to hear how the visualization exercise worked for you and your kids! What did their "Super Power Color" end of up being? You can share in many ways:

  1. Email us your answer(s) to

  2. Post your response below in the Comment section.

Have a great day!

-Joy Sun Bear Family


Author: joysunbear

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